


Five Nights at Black Mesa

by catboxe



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's, HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: AU, Freddy Fazbear! Gordon Freeman, I dont know how to format, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboxe/pseuds/catboxe
Summary: Gordon Freeman, an average man in most places. To most people, at least. In actuality, he was a retired Freddy Fazbear animatronic that gained sentience.It seems like only some people notice this, though.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

Benrey was, of course, waiting on the job. There currently wasn’t any in the near facility that they needed to either bother or approach. They had their buddy, also known as Jeffery, across from them. Neither of them were doing what they were supposed to be doing in the first place, which was guarding the facility. Jeffery looked like they were going to fall asleep any second now, but truthfully, so was Benrey.

Then, the weirdest thing happened. Usually, Benrey would expect a normal human person, usually in a lab coat, to walk by. Did you know what Benrey got instead?

A literal Freddy Fazbear animatronic walking down the hallway, waving its animatronic paw and greeting loudly with its voice, “Howdy!”

What the hell? Okay, they had to bother this guy, or was it an it? They would have to ask for their pronouns while bothering the absolute shit out of it. 

Anyways, other than the pronoun situation, how did a, assuming that this animatronic was retired, Freddy Fazbear animatronic get inside Black Mesa. Adding onto that, how did it even get a job? Next thing you’ll hear is that they have a child. 

Alright, back to reality. Back to questioning why the hell an animatronic is in Black Mesa. 

“hey. can i, uh, see your passport?”

The fact that Benrey saw their life flash between their eyes when the animatronic looked over in confusion and anger is what really shook them to their core. They had to play this strong.

“My passport? Why do I need - What do you mean a passport? A company ID?” 

Wow, for an animatronic, it sure did have a nice voice that Benrey was not attracted to in any way. Benrey had to get it together, they had to make sure the animatronic didn’t have the upper arm in this situation. An idea came, a plan that included their buddy Jeffery that they didn’t actually know. 

Benrey scooted over to Jeffery, looking at his face and seeing discomfort and fear from a 6’6” animatronic bear, weirdly in a lab coat, walking in and seeming like they were there to work. 

“he doesn’t have his passport.” Benrey whispered to Jeffery, trying not to crack with their voice. 

“I did-”, the large animatronic stated, obviously trying to throw Benrey off. Hilarious.

Jeffery, which was still very uncomfortable, looked over at Benrey and whispered to get rid of this large animatronic bear that could probably snap them in half.  
“yeah, he’s telling me you’re not allowed in here.”

The animatronic bear laughed, weirdly enough, Benrey could sense stress and annoyance from that laugh. “I don’t have a passport! I have my Black Mesa ID.”

Benrey, ever so trying to help their buddy out before they had to resort to the Black Mesa laundromat because he pissed himself. Benrey could see that Jeffery had his fists balled, as a result of stress and fear of his life. Sadly enough, Benrey could use this to their advantage. 

“look at- look at how upset he’s getting. look at his fists, they’re balled. he wants to beat you up so bad.”

This animatronic bear had balls, even though they probably didn’t have any, enough to laugh at Benrey’s comment. “He’s clenching! I, dude-”

Benrey, trying to literally take anything away from this situation, came up with the brilliant words of, “i’m going to have to protect you- i’m going to have to protect you from him.”

Jeffery was literally close to pissing their pants in fear, such a dangerous person he was. And even though what Benrey said was a complete lie, the bear fell for it.

“Okay?”

Benrey ended up talking to the bear about how they had to follow them around to protect them, even though they were obviously aware that they were a 6 foot animatronic bear that could beat anyone up. The bear kept talking about how they were in the HEV suit, or the company suit. Weird, as the station for that was later on. 

Benrey finally had the great idea of using their Black Mesa Sweet voice. Benrey turned to Jeffery, murmuring a quick sorry, and blowing their BMSV balls into their mouth. 

As expected, the bear was completely off taken, laughing, “What was that?”

“that’s how we calm each other down. that’s the Black Mesa… Sweet Voice.”

Apparently Benrey was now a complete and professional liar, and just realized that they lied to an animatronic bear that could tear him apart like a child ripping apart Legos. Well, if Benrey doesn’t get this situation figured out, everyone in this facility is screwed half to hell.

The bear still was confused, “You blow balls into his mouth with your sweet-. Okay, so I gotta go to the test chamber. Am I being held up here? Like, am I not allowed to go do my job?”

Holy crap this bear was actually serious about having a job. They actually thought they were employed by Black Mesa themselves and not turned into a secret experiment. This bear either had a fantastic imagination from being around kids most of its life or was actually serious, and Benrey really hoped it was the first option. 

Benrey continued the “Jeffery is going to beat you up even though you are a giant animatronic” card. “no, i’ll follow you just in case he tries to come and beat you up. i also want your passport? please.”

The bear laughed again, resembling a bit of stress. “I don’t have a- Look at my chest! Look at me, I’m suited to- Literally every scientist in the fucking building is rushing me into the room. I’m going to go. So are you- Are you coming with me?”

Why did this bear still think that they worked at Black Mesa? 

“i have to come with you, i’m sorry. but i need your, i need to get your passport.”

The bear audibly sighed, covering its face with its robotic paw. “We’ll find it, okay? There’ll be a passport somewhere around here. I’m sure we can find something that’ll make you happy, that’ll make him happy. I’m kinda scared of him.”

Okay, that was a total lie. Why would a gigantic animatronic be scared of a puny human that is balling their fists due to pure anxiety and fear. 

“yeah, well you know what? he’s never happy, but i’m- hold on.”

Jeffery looked at Benrey, slightly angry at the fact that Benrey just told this animatronic with a SD card for a brain that he is never happy, which is a lie. He’s happy when he’s playing Playstation. Jeffery ended up grumbling something to Benrey.

Benrey had no god damn clue what the hell Jeffery said though, so they just blew their BMSV into their mouth. It was pretty funny, seeing how the large animatronic stood there in shock and confusion, before shaking out of it.

“Okay. I don’t know what to-”

Benrey slightly gave up, they decided to let the bear in the building. Let’s see where the bear goes and if they actually work here in the first place. “okay. go ahead.”

They stepped through the door, walking into the hallways trying to navigate to where the bear said they needed to be. “I know that Black Mesa is a strange place, huh. Alright. So, do you know where we’re going? You know, you should probably be suited up for this. There’s gonna be radiation and shit. Are you good?”

Oh, that is probably why Black Mesa hired this bear. They can’t die from radiation, can they? They are a literal machine made out of gears, plastic and fuses. The thing that still confused Benrey is that they made this bear wear an HEV suit. They shouldn’t question this.

Benrey decided to test how the animatronic took on words that probably would put a human off guard. “it’s okay, i’m not human. let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we go again, continuation to until the resonance cascade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a huge shoutout to the HLVRAI transcript some people are making
> 
> im way too lazy to watch the videos even though i love them

So, here was Benrey. Currently walking down a hallway with an animatronic bear that thought it worked here. Benrey still did not know the name of this bear, but hopefully they will soon. 

The bear seemed anxious while they walked where they supposedly were supposed to be. Probably because Benrey just idiotically said they weren’t human. 

Once they got to the door, pushed it open after talking about how the guards clearly didn’t care about an animatronic bear, so they must be thinking about Fruit loops. The bear seemed adamant that they received their breakfast and seemed slightly confused on why the guards were thinking about fruit loops. In reality, Benrey just made that up. 

“Sir, SIR?” an old voice called out. Benrey looked around trying to navigate the voice and ended up looking at an older man with glasses and a torn up lab coat.

The bear sighed, pointing over to Benrey. “Jesus Christ, can you show him out of here?”

The man looked directly at Benrey, if he even had eyes in the first place, and just told them that they can’t be down here because they don’t have a Hazard Suit. Two can play it this game, animatronic bear.

“i have my- i have my ID.”

Benrey didn’t expect to get much emotion from this bear since they were an animatronic, but they were horribly wrong. The dread poured from their face once the man said it was alright for Benrey to come down here because they had their passport. 

“see what happens when you bring your id and your passport?”

The older man seemed surprised, asking if the bear had their passport. Something that surprised Benrey even more was how the other man seemed okay with a giant animatronic bear that supposedly worked here. Why were they even allowed in the building?

Several minutes later, the older man and the animatronic were still talking about passports, something Benrey totally made up on the spot. Either the older man was being serious or caught onto their joke, but both options would work. The bear eventually got sick of this conversation, and walked away to get to their apparent destination. 

Time to annoy this bear even more.

The bear walked up to someone, trying to engage in conversation. Immediately, Benrey walked over to that specific person, whispering into their ear to not talk to them. They repeated this several times while the bear tried to talk to this person, getting louder each time. Benrey cheered a silent yes, yet still being in total fear of the bear, as they walked away.

Eventually, they reached near the test chamber. The bear stood in the way of the door, half-way through the door and looking directly at Benrey. 

“Okay, you can’t go any farther. This is the fucking test chamber. This is where you- you DIE if you go in here. You get it?”

Benrey got it, yet wanted to fuck around with the bear. It is kind of pushing the limits until you get eaten like a two bite brownie. “there are no- there are no, mmhh, predetermined deaths.”

Again, Benrey did not expect to see such emotion from an animatronic. It raised a paw up, covering its face and sighing. “I- You know what, man? I guess you’re right. There’s- there’s no guaranteed deaths.”

Benrey would have absolutely interrupted them if they weren’t so entertained right now. Black Mesa probably hired them for entertainment. Suddenly, the bear jolts back, the door closing in Benrey’s face. On the other side, Benrey could clearly hear the bear celebrating how Benrey didn’t come through the door with them.

Watch this.

Benrey was supposed to be acting like a human, right? Screw that, teleportation time to scare the shit out of an animatronic.

As the door popped open, the bear talking to itself, stopped. It took a double take when it saw Benrey standing there in the chamber. 

“How the FUCK did you manage? Did you go through the window??”

Benrey was trying very hard to stifle their laugh, but suddenly hearing Tommy made everything much better. 

“Hello?” Tommy shouted, the voice slightly clouded as they were in the distance. This seemed to make the bear sigh, how rude. 

Benrey decided this was a great moment to appreciate their friendship, even though they hardly knew each other. In actuality, they were childhood friends but they just decided to show like they did not know each other.

“Tommy!”

Even though Benrey couldn’t see Tommy from this distance, they bet Tommy was probably wearing a very confused yet amused face telling from the confused “Gordon?” they let out. Wait, this bear had a name. And it was Gordon.

That was the most stupid name they have ever heard, especially for a bear. Actually, just for a bear. They are an animatronic named Gordon. 

Benrey snapped out of his life ruining crisis over the bear being called Gordon, continuing to shout over to Tommy after Gordon asked if Tommy knew Benrey.

There was a new voice, seemed joyful yet an older voice of a representing male. “You know, he didn’t bring his passport!” Did they seriously believe Benrey on the passport thing? Hell with it, apparently if people did bring their passport to work this might work out.

Gordon turned over to Benrey, clearly done with this situation. “Listen, dude. You can live. You can survive. You’re gonna be fine. You just have to go back in the airlock with the other guys.”

No thank you, giant animatronic bear. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

Gordon, again, took a mental double take of these words. It did take a second, but they immediately got angry. “I don’t know how the FUCK you even managed to get in here! That’s not supposed to be open!”

“I know your tricks. You steal stuff by telling people to go away.”

Alright, so Gordon had glowing eyes. Of course they were an animatronic, but it seemed scarier when they were mad at you. Note to Benrey, try not to piss off Gordon the knock off Freddy Fazbear. 

“You think I steal things. What could I steal from this room? What in this room could be- made- could- We are fucking 50,00 feet under the- under the goddamn Earth. Or something like that.”

This bear does not know common sense, but neither did Benrey. So, technically, Benrey did not know if what Gordon was saying was right or wrong. 

The joyful voice exclaimed again, agreeing with Benrey. “You could steal someone’s passport!”

A few minutes later, full of complaining from Gordon, Benrey stood there watching Gordon. Gordon was currently following instructions from a voice above, probably instructing them to push the sample into the laser. In actuality, Benrey actually shouldn’t be in here to tell the truth. But, whatever. Acceptable losses. 

Benrey absolutely loved Tommy, and especially his analogies. When Tommy told Gordon to put it in “Slower than molasses drips off a spoon!”, Benrey was over for. Trying not to alert the others of laughing. Oh right, they were ‘supposed’ to be making sure they were not touching anything. In actuality, they could touch anything and Benrey couldn’t and wouldn’t stop them due to them being a 6 foot animatronic. 

“told you not to touch anything!”

“This is my JOB, dude! This is what I’m here- paid to do. You’re here to guard the door? Or something.”

Gordon was right on the fact Benrey was supposed to be guarding the door and not following an animatronic around accusing them of theft. Although, Benrey was still suspicious of how Gordon said they worked here. But, by seeing how the others reacted, which was seemingly normal, might mean they actually work here. 

Gordon starts to move the cart near the crystal, gaining a complaint from Tommy saying they are moving the cart too fast. 

“I’m not even doing it! It’s not moving! It’s not even touching the laser. We’re- we’re- we are SO far behind schedule, my mind is about to fucking-” Gordon would then make an explosion sound with his mouth, but surprisingly, it sounded like an actual explosion. Right, Gordon was an animatronic bear. Could probably commit murder. Correct that, will commit murder. 

Gordon then goes in, starting to push in the cart into the lasers. This causes, Benrey cannot even explain. They felt very concerned and scared, but tried to limit that with being only slightly concerned. Although, it was pretty funny hearing everyone else freak out. 

“Go back and- get back into the- Jesus! Wha- the- man! What the fuck is that? What the-”

Sparks and static is heard from Benrey’s point of view, as they watch the animatronic collapse to the ground causing a hefty thud.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another one bites the dust (sorry for the late upload im... ojiijsd gyeah)
> 
> ok so the ren. cas. happened. little shit boy wakes up 
> 
> this is in gordons pov!! have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be in Gordon's POV. Fun!

Gordon started to boot up, a blue loading circle that eventually got faster. Although he couldn’t see himself, his eyes were currently blacked out.

He sat up with a jolt, quite literally. Alright, what the fuck was that. Gordon stood up, looking around and nearing to the door.

“Okay, so, there were three people, I have to- Oh, man, my head! There were three people in here. I can’t remember- What was that bald dude’s made, the guy who was in the computer. There was the fucking cop. I didn’t even ask for his name. Jesus. Oh my God, the test chamber.”

As Gordon exited the door, he started walking. Eventually, he heard a voice. Gordon was surprised his hearing coding wasn’t messed up by that explosion. Actually, Gordon was surprised nothing was messed up or broken in the first place. He might need to check that later on.  
Gordon was soon eventually met with the bold man, sitting down near a corner. The fact that he was just peacefully sitting there was not surprising in any way, seeing how he acted in the first place. What really got Gordon though was that he didn’t seem surprised in any way about the dead bodies surrounding the area around him. 

Reel back. Dead bodies were surrounding the area. Around the bald guy and Gordon. Dead bodies on the floor.

“Holy shit!”

While Gordon was shocked about the dead bodies on the floor, not like he hasn’t seen anything like it, the older man spoke up. Thankfully, this interrupted his shock.

“Are you that motherfucker that fucked up this whole experiment?”

Did this man seriously think an animatronic could fuck up this experiement, especially when he is programmed to follow tasks? Even though he does have free will, he still has to follow tasks almost exactly to plan. Fuck hi,

“You think I fucked it up? You think I fucked it up?”

“I think you fucked it up.”

Alright, time to change the subject apparently. To get this asshole off the leads and make him notice the actual dead bodies on the floor. Maybe he was just too shocked to notice the whole thing.

“Fucking everyone in this room is dead. What’s going on upstairs, do you think?”

The man stuttered a bit, trying to counter Gordons words. “I- I have no idea, I came down here to try and stop things, and..”

Alright. “Yeah, what were you gonna stop?”

“Shit.. Shit went wrong.”

Did this man seriously just notice that shit went wrong? Gordon would have to at least try to sympathize with the man as much as an animatronic bear could, which was little. Hell, he was built for pizza eating children who either wanted to hug him or destroy him, throw him in a fire, and then reap his soul. 

“This was out of our hands. So, listen, listen-”

“I’ll stop your fuckin’ mouth.”

Alright, so an animatronic bear cannot sympathize. “Listen a fuckin- I’m a little stressed, buddy. Okay, so a guard. A guard, there was a guard insisting that I had my passport. Do you have your passport?”

“You do have it though, right? Yes?”

Were they actually serious about the passport thing? If so, Gordon was screwed. Sure, he formally was a child, but he couldn’t use a missing child’s passport. First of all, it looks nothing like him. The name might be the same, but it may count as impersonation. 

“I don’t have my passport. I don’t have my passport.”

“Uhh…”

“This is, as far as I know, this is in company protocol as of today.” 

“It- That’s right!”

Alright, why did nobody tell him, an animatronic that has a literal calendar in his mind, that this was a protocol as of today. Gordon hoped they knew he was an animatronic, as he certainly looked the part. Right? 

“It doesn’t, it doesn’t, it does not matter but listen. A guard followed me-”

Are you kidding me. The god damn guard from earlier was here. The one that seemingly teleported from rooms, blew balls from their mouth and more less seemed like a god than anything else. Oh, and also, wanted a passport that Gordon didn’t even have in the first place. Or was even told about. 

“Hey!”

“Oh, there he is!”

The guard came up to Gordon, and to be honest, looked slightly shaken. Alright, if this guard says anything about passports in the next few minutes Gordon might have to commit homicide. 

“you talking about your passport?”

Wow, what a wonderful day for homicide! 

“Whatever the fuck happened in there, he jumped in there, another guy jumped in there. Three subjects, one sample. Boom! That’s all- That’s all that I know that happened.”

“did i not tell you not to touch that”

Yeah, it would be a wonderful day for homicide if this security guard keeps it up. It is quite literally his job to push that cart in, conduct experiments and possibly get killed. Alright. 

“Did I not tell YOU to get the FUCK out of the TEST CHAMBER?”

Okay, so Gordon might be a little too mad. But, honestly, he doesn’t care. Actually, the fact that the guard was visibly shaking was confusing, but he guessed he would also be scared as hell if a 6” animatronic, when you’re only a 5” humanoid looking creature. Gordon could rip the guard apart like paper. 

The guard turned around, looking directly at the older man. Still, the guard was shaking while they krept up to the ear of the older man. “dude…”

Alright, time to leave. Gordon is sick of this crap. 

After a few minutes of walking, with the two people behind him, he saw two scientists clearly injured. Ouch. Time to put on sympathy mode 2000 for the second time today, if it even works in the first place.

“Are you guys okay? Jesus, you wouldn’t talk to me before..”

The scientists didn’t even budge or look up. How rude. Gordon turned on his sympathy mode 2000 for nothing, just for them to ignore him. Alright.

As if Tommy could hear his thoughts, Tommy came around the corner. “Watch out!!”

This man, or whatever they were, were an odd creature indeed. Apparently ate soda for lunch, which probably wasn’t healthy but Gordon wasn’t going to get concerned about it. 

But, of course, the older man from before had to ruin this moment of clarity and peace Tommy came with by verbally showing that Tommy was there. We know, Tommy just said something. You don’t need to confirm a voice for us. Okay yeah, that sympathy mode 2000 is still on and is not working at all. Might need to fix that later on.

“Tommy, TOMMY!” 

Man, was he happy to see this Tommy person. Gordon was sure they probably said that before, but who is a person without being happy to see his homies?

“Watch out, there’s creatures!”

This Tommy person may be the miracle that Gordon needed, but Gordon was pretty sure there were no creatures around here other than him. And well, of course, Tommy. Gordon had a feeling Tommy probably wasn’t human. 

Alright, Gordon is feeling a bit stressed. 

“We need to make sense- “

Wow, so Tommy was not going insane and there were actual creatures surrounding this area. Okay, way to go Tommy. 

“Augh, Jesus!”

While Gordon was freaking out after being attacked by what he assumed was a living fat pancake, or pizza dough, he could hear the older man from earlier talking. 

“Oh my God, it’s loose! Way to go!”

But after watching this guard who is still shaking, maybe they are cold, take out a gun and utterly destroy the fat pizza dough that was attacking Gordon. “What are we arming our guards with? What the fuck was that weapon?”

“that was, uh. that was a passport.”

Gordon was completely done with life, and this man is going to make the last of it. Might as well commit murder, end up in prison and rot knowing that he killed the person that was driving him insane in the first place. Gordon could probably plead insanity due to this guard, but that wouldn’t get very far. 

“Alright, Tommy, Tommy-”

Why did it smell like s'mores but instead of s’mores it was a human body. Oh. Someone was on fire and it was that scientist back there that didn’t pay attention to him, when he was trying to give sympathy. Honestly, they kinda deserved it. So, Gordon stayed quiet. He just wanted to ask one question to the culprit, or the assumed culprit. 

“Hey, what happened to those guys?”

The guard looked at him in the eyes. “they, uh, they didn’t have their passport.”

Wow, Gordon might have to find his passport. This seemed like a serious thing if someone was turned into a human s’more just for not having their passport. 

“Yeah, we’re gonna- I’ll get the passport. We’re gonna get that passport.”

The older man spoke up, “If you’re like me, it’s in your locker!”

Alright, it was pretty sickening to not know a name of a person that was providing good ideas. “What is your name?”

“I don’t remember. I took a beating to the head.”

Why.

“No, you know your fucking name. Stop joking around, I’m sick of people fucking with me today. Alright, what is your name?”

“Hmm.. Fine. MMb- Bubby.”

Was this persons name seriously fucking Bubby? Bobby but instead of an O, it’s a U? That. That was not his name. 

“Bubby. That is- that is not your name.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late chapter broskis
> 
> uuuhhh yeah still gordon :)

“Dr. Coomer. DOCTOR.” 

“Alright, the terminal’s fixed, now if I just press-”

Why doesn’t anyone listen around here?

The machine would make a quiet beep boop noise, seconds before Dr. Coomer yelled, which was quite full of pain may I tell you. “I don’t think you should be fucking with anything down here.”

“Communication is down all across the network, Gordon!”

Gordon, did not care. Gordon did not care if the network is down, Gordon will probably never care. The only thing Gordon will worry about is if they get a proper charge around here. Hopefully, only the network is down and not the power. If the power was down, Gordon was fucked. 

“Dude you need to MOVE!”

“I’ve got my passport!”

“No passport is going to protect you from that, hell even this HEV suit wouldn’t save me from that!”

Yeah, maybe Gordon was moving slightly away from how he would usually act, but fuck that. They might be in a middle of an actual apocalypse with full on aliens that will try to grab at your face. No thank you!

“It’s perfectly fine! I’m trying to stay calm, and you should too Gordon!”

“I am having a very difficult time with staying calm.”

Not really, Gordon didn’t feel many emotions to be honest. If he wanted to feel any emotion, he would have to flip that switch quite mentally. And preferring not to go insane with panic, he would rather keep that switch off and act panicked other than feel it.

Bubby, or whatever his real name was, interrupted Dr. Coomer’s panic and Gordon’s mental thinking. “Let’s goooooo!”

Alright, honestly he was thankful that Bubby (still wondering if that is their name) interrupted or he might have been stuck in that mode for a while. “Alright, so how many have you gone to the surface without the tram? On food, even?”

Bubby, the fucker that they are, decides to say “I was born down here”.

Alright princess, sure. Gordon decided to play along with that, just like how Bubby made up a name on top of their head and how they probably don’t have a memory. Gordon should have probably trusted his words of hitting his head. 

“You were born down here? Black mesa does test tube babies, to make scientists?”

“This place is ooooold, Gordon.”

“It’s older than me, for sure. I’m younger than all of you, probably combined.”

Gordon was actually not sure about that. They don’t remember when they were born in the first place. Probably in the 1970s, actually. Yeah, but again since they didn’t have any sort of ID, other than the fake one he decided to make up out of crayon (red crayon, the only one that Gordon would touch).

“Older than me!”

“Well, no, Tommy’s like five but that’s okay!”

Tommy was definitely not five. 

“We love our little Tommy.”

Why was this Bubby fucker going along with this?

Time to get going, again. Rather die on the run than die on the floor, tired and bored. As they turned the corner, they spotted that fucking cop. God damnit. Unsurprisingly, the cop was sitting between a few lasers. They probably do not have enough mental capacity to realize that the lasers could kill them. On que, the laser hit the helmet of the cop. 

God does Gordon absolutely hate people screaming, so god damn annoying. Wait. How did that laser not go completely through that helmet? Holy shit. 

Apparently, Gordon asked that outloud as Bubby answered with the stupid ass answer of “Standard issue Black Mesa helmets!”

Gordon sighed, mumbling and looking over at the cop as he jumped out of the laser with no physical damage. “I’m like fifty percent sure this is the reason this is happening.”

The guard would make a pained grunt, and several other noises that sounded like they were obviously in pain. Gordon actually felt pure concern without having to flip that switch on when they started to spit out balls. Why were these balls even coloured? Blue to purple. 

“Is that normal?”

Thank you Coomer, for asking the question that nobody knows the answer to yet everyone is wondering. 

“I can read this!” Tommy shouted. 

How. It is literally just balls and colours? Soon Tommy is going to reveal themselves to the group as a high school teacher who tries to find a metaphor in a fucking wall. Oh, the wall is white! That must mean the author is trying to purvey the mood of feeling empty! No. It’s a fucking wall. 

“When it’s L- Purple, like the evening of a spring evening, then it means he’s okay!”

Yeah, Tommy is definitely a high school English teacher. There is no fucking way that the colours of balls coming out of someone's mouth shows how they are feeling. Is Tommy just making up rhymes to match the colours? Pink to black means I want to throw you in a haystack.   
Time to at least fake that Gordon is happy that Tommy made up a fake language of colours. “Okay. Thank you, Tommy.”

Bubby, being the fucker he is (again), decides to yell “Last one to the elevators is a rotten egg!”

Alright, they are currently in a life or death situation and this idiot, who is apparently a test tube baby, wants to race to the elevator. Why would we race? Gordon isn’t meant to race, or even run to begin with. Their body is literally an animatronic meant for entertainment of snot blowing children who scream about pizza on top of their lungs. 

After the children he was with finished their race, they arrived at an elevator. The cop, or whatever you wanted to call him, looked at him. “Right through here.”

Following the cops directions, Gordon pressed the button causing screaming from inside the elevator shaft. Damn. Gordon was technically not accountable for that. 

The other members that Gordon was stuck with thought the complete opposite, freaking out about how Gordon just killed ‘three innocent lives’. Alright, yeah, Gordon did just kill three people but that doesn’t mean it was on purpose. You never know, they might have done some crimes that you are able to get the death penalty for. 

Well, time to die anyways because the elevator isn’t working. Yes, there might be a ladder. Yes, most of them can probably climb it with ease. But Gordon is, again, a full on animatronic. 

“You guys go first, I’ll watch your backs and make sure none of those freaky creatures-”

Gordon was interrupted by Dr. Coomer screaming, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained!”

That is a nice motto to go by but it was not very nice of him to completely interrupt someone trying to worry about the people they are going to be stuck with for the unseeable future. 

Eventually, after climbing up some ladders, grabbing legs and yelling, they arrive at another hallway. How shocking. Only this time, holy shit, Barney Calhoun is here. A cool buddy that isn’t scared of him and listens to him. Gordon liked him. 

The guard decided to ruin this moment by bumping into Barney, pointing at Gordon. “Can you believe this guy doesn’t have his fucking passport?”

Why is this dude still going on about a fucking passport? It might just be a new thing, but give him a break. Gordon did not know about this and was not informed at all about this. 

“Alright, do you know this dude? Do you know who this guy is?”

Gordon was trying to talk to Barney about this guard, but the others picked up and thought Gordon was confused on who Barney was. No, you idiots.

“That’s Barney!”

The guard popped up, saying “Benrey”.

Who the hell is Benrey. Wait, what if it is this cops name? God, fucking Benrey. That is such a stupid name, almost as high as Bubby on the Stupid Name List 202X. 

“Benrey, you’re Benrey?”

The cop, or lets say Benrey, replied with a louder “Benrey” after Gordon asked. Alright.

“You’re Benrey. Okay, I know your name now. Benrey, you remember your name? You’re not fucking with me, right? Like Bubby is, right?”

“Bubby.” Bubby responded. 

“That is not your name.”

“That’s what I said when I was born.”


End file.
